I also fixed it.EfonReport 2012-04-10 10:35:11Needs: Longer, Shorter paragraphs, Better dialog. But REALLY make us feel like the characters mean something to us. Sex vedio But REALLY make us feel like the characters mean something to us. But REALLY make us feel like the characters mean something to us. I’d love to see it cleaned up and fleshed out a little more!anonymous readerReport 2012-04-10 03:11:18Oh yah mate more more more pleaseeeeeeeeeee«1» 4 comments«1»sammielovedollReport 2012-04-10 21:34:55More soon guys! Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? But REALLY make us feel like the characters mean something to us. Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? 4 comments«1»sammielovedollReport 2012-04-10 21:34:55More soon guys! Is Daddy conflicted about doing this or is he a dirty old man? I also fixed it.EfonReport 2012-04-10 10:35:11Needs: Longer, Shorter paragraphs, Better dialog. I also fixed it.EfonReport 2012-04-10 10:35:11Needs: Longer, Shorter paragraphs, Better dialog. I’d love to see it cleaned up and fleshed out a little more!anonymous readerReport 2012-04-10 03:11:18Oh yah mate more more more pleaseeeeeeeeeee«1» 4 comments«1»sammielovedollReport 2012-04-10 21:34:55More soon guys! Is the the girl just really naive, or stupid, or is she trying to seduce her dad?anonymous readerReport 2012-04-10 04:39:18Your story has some good bones.
