5 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-03-10 20:05:14Are you all kidding me? The second thing that could be improved is detail. Xxx vedio Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable. When did this become a lesson in writing and when did people that post on here have to be graded for their contributions? For something like this, a little back-story could be a great help.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:33:55Not bad but add some more detail«1» When did this become a lesson in writing and when did people that post on here have to be graded for their contributions? Don’t be afraid of expounding more.zanonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:47:41So overall it has some good potential. Don’t be afraid to write and add paragraphs/grammar. The second thing that could be improved is detail. You need to work on your detail and the story length. Also watch what types you put on top, you only had a gang rape of males/ female.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-28 00:38:25Break-up your paragraphs, watch your spelling and you capitalize CCUSA in one place and don’t in another (careful). First is the formatting. 5 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-03-10 20:05:14Are you all kidding me? Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable. For something like this, a little back-story could be a great help.anonymous readerReport 2013-02-27 23:33:55Not bad but add some more detail«1» Try separating the paragraphs out so that it is more readable.
