Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong. 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. xxx sex 1 comments«1»anonymous readerReport 2013-09-14 10:41:06I thought that this story was FAR too verbose. To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. To me, it made you appear very young and immature.«1» I was not impressed by your overly-flowery style. You tried to fill every sentence with as many words as you could – as if you were being paid by the word. Watch your excessive use of commas – you inserted some where they did not belong.
