It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. xxx sex One suggestion though, split the paragraphs with a line break between them. However, a little more build up to the actual rape would be good. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» I agree with the line break, especially if your next story is longer, it will make it easier to read.Anonymous readerReport 2009-03-12 04:49:44it was good. However, a little more build up to the actual rape would be good. However, a little more build up to the actual rape would be good. needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» 7 comments«12»READERReport 2009-10-14 10:20:44not bad for a first…shorten the paragraghs..easier to read that way, and please, a little more character development and backgroundAnonymous readerReport 2009-08-25 17:03:32Good story. 7 comments«12»READERReport 2009-10-14 10:20:44not bad for a first…shorten the paragraghs..easier to read that way, and please, a little more character development and backgroundAnonymous readerReport 2009-08-25 17:03:32Good story. However, a little more build up to the actual rape would be good. It makes it easier for the reader to follow a story.«12» needs to be a little longer on the sexual part..Vanion_3000Report 2009-03-01 20:35:03For a first attempt, well done.
