Overall, not bad for a first submission. The basic premise is a bit off for a supposed “true story” as well. Xxx vedio You were a virgin, but the girl who has punished you to sleep on the couch is no virgin – still, you know from the way she answers to you that she’s masturbating… Sorry, but, as a virgin, you just seem to know too much!anonymous readerReport 2012-11-11 08:56:41You switch between third person and first person seemingly at random. It’s not quite wall of text, you did break it up after the first long paragraph. But it would be easier to read with a blank line after each paragraph. Sorry, but, as a virgin, you just seem to know too much!anonymous readerReport 2012-11-11 08:56:41You switch between third person and first person seemingly at random. He shares a bed with her when he’s not relegated to the couch- but is a virgin? Sorry, but, as a virgin, you just seem to know too much!anonymous readerReport 2012-11-11 08:56:41You switch between third person and first person seemingly at random. 2 comments«1»Ovid58Report 2012-11-12 06:07:23I didn’t vote, since I don’t want to spoil your ranking – anyway, please be more careful – just as the anonymous reader has already said, you switch between third person and first person in a way that really makes things hard to follow… He shares a bed with her when he’s not relegated to the couch- but
