The first commenter was a retarded jackass so just ignore him. Xxx vedio Well thought out and well developed story-line. get a good editor and do a rewrite and NEVER EVER POST A STORY WITHOUT GOING THROUGH A GOOD EDITOR FIRST«1» It was a good story and i didnt notice any grammatical errors that were obvious enough to see them in one read without scanning for them. 5 comments«1»Anonymous readerReport 2014-07-26 22:46:18only a real ass would leave a story posted in this condition DELETE at once and rewrite it properly. It would be a bit better if there was the space between paragraphs because it can get a little bit confusing to the idiots who read it obviously :Danonymous readerReport 2012-03-28 09:26:21Fuck u dumb ass, apparently this is ur first time reading, see the indents on the end, in case u didn’t know thats where he took word document clicked 1.0 spaces and said remove line after paragraph dumb shitanonymous readerReport 2010-12-06 20:16:03to hard to read ever heard of a thing called PARAGRAPHS they work wonders. as is this sucks big time and is totally unreadable.anonymous readerReport 2012-04-09 01:27:37duskflair i am a member of 3es series from somestory this story was great i think u should write more on the brother sister deal very good it wasnt hard to read that first commenter was a complete jack ass you did great man love the story and thank you for
