9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-06-03 10:39:03Poor story with no plot or characterisationmtnguy70Report 2011-02-17 02:20:23Nice story, but too many commas, and they weren’t usually in the correct places. 9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-06-03 10:39:03Poor story with no plot or characterisationmtnguy70Report 2011-02-17 02:20:23Nice story, but too many commas, and they weren’t usually in the correct places. Sex vedio U missed the plot. U missed the plot. 9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-06-03 10:39:03Poor story with no plot or characterisationmtnguy70Report 2011-02-17 02:20:23Nice story, but too many commas, and they weren’t usually in the correct places. Work on that and other technical details, and you’ll do well. Actually have sex before you write a story!«12» The people before me expressed my other thoughts. 9 comments«12»anonymous readerReport 2012-06-03 10:39:03Poor story with no plot or characterisationmtnguy70Report 2011-02-17 02:20:23Nice story, but too many commas, and they weren’t usually in the correct places. The people before me expressed my other thoughts. also..whose kyle?Anonymous readerReport 2009-05-22 07:11:34Fake fake fake. Actually have sex before you write a story!«12» Work on that and other technical details, and you’ll do well. :)Anonymous readerReport 2009-07-13 22:35:08you got a good base for a story, now u just need more detail and for it to be much longer! The people before me expressed my other thoughts.
